The nice weather is back and we can start going to the lake house again!
Things have been weird with me recently. I haven’t felt a lot like myself. Everything seems to have become twisted inside my head. Anybody that knows me well enough knows I haven’t been myself for almost a year now, the last six months especially. I am working very hard on improving this situation because I really do quite love life. With so many people carrying so many of their own burdens we have all become disconnected from one another. I lost touch with myself and, in turn, with who my most beloved are. And with their own daily stresses and lifestyle fretting, they too have lost touch with themselves and each other, including me. A friendship of convenience is easy and I sometimes feel that that is all I am to many. Which is why I’ve woken up today and come to terms with something; - I do need my friends. I do need people. And there are people who I must stop relying on, and others that are allowing me to rely on them. It isn’t lost on me how hard it must be for some of them to invest in me right now - some of what they’re carrying themselves is heavy enough - so I hope they don’t think for a moment that I don’t understand the love they must have for me in order to carry my weight too. These are the people I’ll take with me into the future, like a family, and enjoy life with when everything is calmer, and look back to this really awful time in my life knowing I never was alone after all.
Now - it’s a nice day. I’m getting some music on and kicking back with a cold cider. Let’s have a good summer.
(via anishatronn)
I swear an awful lot when I’m having trouble expressing something. In my head I’m like: “Oh well you see I’m just not in a very good mood today, if I could have a short while to myself to work through it I’d be mighty grateful?” - but my mouth goes: “Oh well you see…. FUCKS SAKE!!!”.
